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This period represents a full decade since the phrase “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {