Late-Night Comics Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Television's leading entertainers devoted their airtime ridiculing President Donald Trump's just launched immigration program, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant cash-for-residency scheme for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Spin

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas song targeting the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new initiative which permits overseas citizens to acquire U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, or "platinum" tier for five million. The program's page guarantees approval "in record time."

"A brief thought here to rich applicants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also designed to "get cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, involving hefty costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – if it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow rich international individuals to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval ratings during financial worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a effort to discuss affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.